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10 Steps to Starting a Blog


Step One: If you are considering starting a blog, the obvious first step is to post a poll on your Instagram story. You absolutely must know if all of your 1,700 followers will be interested in reading whatever basic shit you have to say. The poll should look something like this: trendy desk, cactus plant, black and white letter board with some motivational garbage quote, unused office supplies, etc. Then ask, "Should I start a blog?" Then offer "yes" or "no" buttons - or if you're feeling really feisty you can make the buttons, "fuck yes!" or "Yassss queen." I opted for the traditional "yes" or "no" options but, you do you. Post it, then wait to see the results. Make sure that if someone clicks, "no" that you immediately text them and talk shit on them for not supporting your new found idea of becoming a blogger. 

Step Two: If you make it past step one, you need to figure out how to start a fucking blog. If your cash flow is golden, you can just buy a bomb ass domain and get your blog on. If you're a poor SOB then you need to do some research on what the best free or reduced blog options are out there. I opted for Blogger.com. So far it has been free but, welcome to blog post number one. There are a bunch of cool options out there that cater to any type of blogger - so if you need a more hipstery looking one then Google is helpful when narrowing down that list. 

Step Three: START yo fucking blog, for real! Essentially that means writing a post, not posting it, leaving it in draft form, then posting it, then immediately deleting it. Boom, welcome to blogging -the world of insecurity of writing your thoughts out-loud IRL. Don't worry, it gets easier... I actually don't know that, like I said, this is my first post... but you should totally listen to me. 

Step Four: Stalk other bloggers religiously. Now that you have gotten the courage to create a blog and have maybe even picked out a cute little background picture for your blog, you need to see what else is out there. Social media is a quick way to figure out who is blogging these days, guess what? It's everyone and their MF mother - literally their mother, she is blogging and she is fucking killing it! Don't let those other blogs scare you, you're a beautiful soul with your own thoughts that might or might not be on a blog yet and even if they are, so what?

Step Five: Figure out TF your blog is going to be about - Do you have a passion that you LOVE to share with everyone? Or have you thought about sharing it but weren't sure how to reach people? Blog it! If you have an undying love and no one you know loves it too? Blog it! If you're obsessed with cute animals like baby goats, pugs, or sweet little squirrels, you best blog about it! 

Step Six: For step six I am going to give you 6 totally awesome ideas that you can blog about! 
1. Fitness
2. Make-up
3. Raising children
4. Being an Instagram model
5. Vegan Eating
6. Being a man
*These are totally cool topics that I will not be blogging about because I don't know or believe in them but you totally should.

Step Seven: By this step you should now know that you need to create a Insta poll to crowd source your success, you need a website to blog on, you need to stalk at least 12 people, and you need to have a topic to blog about. Step seven is all about your success! In order for your blog to be successful you need to put in the work. You need to have a theme and typically stick to the that theme, unless your theme is life - then you can blog about whatever you want. Well, you can actually blog about whatever the fuck you want anyway. But! if you want to be successful, you need to consistently blog about he same thing over and over again about 10,000 times to really get your reader to understand you as a person. For example, I am not following this rule but I am following the rule of 10 - all of my blog posts will have a topic and then 10 things about said topic. Anyway, enough about this blog. As Britney would say, now get to work bitch! 

Step Eight: Write your first blog post! Work super hard on your first blog post and ignore all of your other responsibilities you have in life. Pretend like you're hella cool and get in your writing grove. Listen to music, light a candle, get in that mood! Writing mood that is. Pour your heart into it and try not to overthink it too much. You might want to edit it a little and check for typos so your friends (who will probably be your only readers) don't think you're a fucking idiot. Now on to step 9!

Step Nine: Post your first blog post! YES!! Look at you, you little blogger! You did it, I am proud AF. You have taken the pivotal step of becoming a blogger - if you don't post it, you're not a blogger. So now you are a first class blogger! Anytime you accomplish anything, you know what the next step of action is, right? Time to celebrate! Not to sound cliche or anything, but it's important to celebrate the little things in life - or the monumental things like becoming a blogger. Wooo! 

Step Ten: Treat yo-self!! Make yourself a cocktail or mocktail (hopefully not though) and be super proud of yourself for reading this post and becoming a certified expert on how to start a blog. Now go get your blog on! Cheers! 

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