Two: Boss ass bitch - You don't need no man to be a boss ass bitch! The most successful people in my life are definitely not men but women! There are so many strong, powerful, independent women who are slaying in our world today - it's truly amazing. I can tell you more women who are killing the game than men - not to say there aren't men who kill the game too, there are, but right now, who runs the world? GIRLS! Fuck yes Queen Bey! Women don't need no man to achieve being a boss ass bitch, they get their themselves and that is pretty freaking rad.
Three: Women - Numba three why you don't need no man - Women! Calling all the girls! Who gets you through the good times and the bad times? Best friends! Who is typically your bestie? Wonderful, lovely, non-male, women! <3 Shout out to those ladies who are the real ones! Who needs a man when you have all you need in a mom, sister, best friend, bestie, home girl, a one since day one, coworker, soul sister, cousin, auntie, mentor, teacher, girlfriend, life partner, fierce females, random best friend from the bar bathroom, amiga, lifers, copilot, swolemate, soul mate, etc… Hey girl hey!
Four: Me, myself, and I (not the G-Eazy song)- The fourth reason why you don't need no man is potentially the hardest one. You have to believe in yourself and know your damn worth. You are amazing! Well maybe you are? Let's just go with, yes, you are amazing! Hopefully you read my other blog post about how to be cooler and have been following those steps. Anyway, if you are an amazing person with good intentions and a pure heart, you do not need no man. You are enough. You are intelligent. YOU are you and that is incredible and you are the only one who can complete you - not some stinky, dumb boy, who doesn't know how to tell you, "you're beautiful" but will say, "your beautiful" and you'll just be too focused on his poor ass grammar to even be able to appreciate his kind words. *sigh*
Five: Jars & Cars - If you have a man and they offer to help you open jars and fix your car… cool. BUT, you don't need no man to open jars and fix your cars! You strong as hell and can get that silly little jar open! & if you can't, just throw that fucking jar out the window because it shouldn't make you feel weak! You can totally get it open though so only smash it as a last resort. On to the car situation, you don't need no man! Thank God for YouTube - you can literally learn how to fix anything on that damn site. Not sure your cars tire PSI? No problem! Google dat shizz and you're gold! Or your tires still flat but you got this!
Six: Artificial insemination - This one is a sticky situation, because technically you do need a man for this… but that's not the point here. The point is, you literally do not need no man to reproduce now, which is pretty mofo fantastic!
Seven: Artificial Stimulation - Here is a link to a sex toy that literally is an oral stimulator for women, like it mimics someone going down on you….. #%$!@^*&$ The seventh reason why you don't need NO DAMN man!
https://www.myfirstblush.com/collections/female-toys/products/lelo-ora-2
**I skipped eight because it rhymes with mate and no one needs one of those! Boy bye…
Nine: Happy Hour~ The happiest of hours is overrated in guys eyes so HH is strictly reserved for your best babes! Moscow Mules, Margs, red and white wine, (I don't discriminate) mimosas, whatever your drink jam is! Now onto the important part of happy hour - gossip and food! Drinks are cool and all but have you ever had happy hour nachos or fondue potatoes? Y to the fucking UM. The best way to enjoy fried cheesy treats is with your lovely ladies talking about all things new and exciting, old and important. Saturday might be for the boys but Happy Hour was made for the women. You don't need no man because you have Happy Hour - God Bless HH.
Ten: Taylor Swift - Yes, you read that right, T-Sweezy gets her own damn spot in this blog because she's Taylor Swift. All the songs and all the feels come from this boss ass bitch and she is the queen of owning her singledom and not needing no. fucking. man! As Taylor would say were, "too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet." Probably from happy hour but bonus, you don't need no man to dance either.
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